Still Listening

Tonight I sat down at my computer to write, but the words just wouldn’t come. My mind felt scattered, my heart distracted. Even my dogs seemed determined to pull my attention away. And yet, I can’t shake the feeling that God is trying to get a message through to me.

Lately, I’ve heard the same themes repeated — in conversations, in posts, in little nudges that catch my attention. It’s like a thread God keeps weaving, but I can’t quite grasp the full picture yet.

It reminds me of when I first started walking back toward Him years ago. My daughter had been invited to church by a friend, so we went together. At first, I’ll be honest — it was awkward. I didn’t want to get up, I didn’t want to be there, and the people worshipping openly felt… well, different to me. But slowly something shifted. The sermons began to make sense. The words weren’t just noise anymore — they were God speaking directly to me.

One Sunday the church began a series called True North. At first, I thought it was just another sermon, but something inside me woke up. You see, when I was 15, I attempted suicide by overdosing on medication. Obviously, I was unsuccessful — but when I “woke up” a few days later, I knew one thing with absolute clarity: I was here for a reason. I didn’t know what it was yet, but I promised myself I would never try to end my life again, because God had a purpose for me.

For years I searched for that purpose, unsure of what it could be. And then True North brought me back to that moment. It reminded me that my calling wasn’t complicated — it was simply to draw others closer to God, to point the way back to Him. That realization felt like a reawakening of the promise I had made as a teenager: to live out the purpose God had spared me for.

So here I am tonight, years later, still learning how to listen. I don’t yet know what God is trying to say — maybe it’s a word meant only for me, or maybe it’s something I’m supposed to share. What I do know is this: He is faithful to speak. If I can push past the noise and quiet my heart, I will hear His still, small voice.

Until then, I’m still listening.

"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." — Jeremiah 29:13